THE NEXT 7 ARROWS HOME RUN SLUGGER
by
THE GREAT SPORTS ANANALIZER MELVIN ZWICK

The family at the Crossroads Country Ranch has added to their reputation as a baseball player producing Dynasty.

Their first player of note in this Dynasty is Kyle the home run slugger and fantastic strike out pitcher who is following in the footsteps of the great Babe Ruth.

Kyle is known as the fearsome strike out pitcher of the Mossyrock baseball team. The batters who face him quake in their baseball shoes as he winds up for his next pitch.
Kyle is an avid supporter of the Arizona Diamondbacks baseball team when all his team mates are Seattle Mariners Fans.

Now Kyle is joined by his younger brother, the next Crossroads Country Ranch super baseball player, Timothy.

This photo was taken by Chocolate Loving Momma with her new 14X optical zoom camera from the balcony of the Crossroads Country Ranch house.
Here is Timothy holding his older sister Lydia on at third base while Kyle is about to pitch to one of his sisters who is a member of his great support team . Kyle and Timothy sisters Lydia, Victoria, Caroline and Valerie who are on the field are members of the boys excellent support team.

Older sister Lydia, known for her excellent sheep herding ability, is giving Timothy baseball advice while they admire the second birthday cake of the Joseph, next son at the Crossroads Country Ranch.

As of the writing of this story Joseph has shown considerable Karate skills. Here Joseph is demonstrating his side kick against his instructor. Not bad for a two year old.

Victoria, the crash and bang kid, is giving Timothy written instructions he should follow in his next baseball game.

Timothy who is very appreciative of his sisters help is shown with his sister Valerie, also known as Huggy Bear, as she reads a thank you note he has given her expressing his thanks for her help.

The is the Little General Caroline who is known for giving both her brothers great baseball advice. She is also known to be an avid rock climber

Here he is, Timothy, the subject of this story, in all his joy about to throw out one of his sisters.
What a great photo Chocolate Loving Momma took of Timothy with her new camera set at its 14X optical Zoom setting. It shows a typical delighted All American boy in his rubber boots and holey pants throwing a baseball. What more could this photo show? Absolutely nothing. It captures the All American theme perfectly. Congrats to a great mother and photographer.

Here is a photo of our boy wearing the cap of his favorite baseball team, the Portland Web Feet.

This photo shows the power of a 14X optical Zoom camera.
The main photo shows the lens setting at the normal range and the smaller insert shows the lens setting at 14X.
With this new camera Chocolate Loving Momma should be able to take great photos of her boys as they play baseball.

This photo shows the hazards of being in the range of Chocolate Loving Mommas 14X zoom camera. Timothy thought he could get away with goofing off for a few minutes but Momma caught him. Actually he is studying the critters that are about to steal third base.

And there you have it, another great sports story from the great sports Analyzer MELVIN ZWICK.

TIMOTHY'S PJ BOTTOMS

TIMOTHY LOOSES HIS PANTS

OR

THE DAY MELVIN ZWICK STOLE THE BRITCHES

by

WHO ELSE BUT THE GREAT MELVIN ZWICK

I, MELVIN ZWICK, made a surprise visit to the Bowes ranch early one morning. As usual all the animals were in the pasture and all the Bowes were sound asleep.


They were tired after spending the whole day at the.



Muttin Buster Timothy rode a sheep for about a second. That is no world record but it must have been fun for the great sheep rider Timothy.
However this morning I, MELVIN ZWICK, was worried about Gabriel the goat. He looked like he was a little cold. All the Gritter Getters were still in bed. There was no one to help warm up Gabriel. What was I, MELVIN ZWICK to do.



Then Timothy showed up out of no where wearing his pajamas, helmet and rubber boots. I. MELVIN ZWICK, was fascinated by timothy as he rode the farm tractor going varoom, varoom, varoom.


Now I, MELVIN ZWICK, can understand why the rubber boots are necessary, There is lots of wet grass and used hay and grain scattered all over the yard. Rubber boots are a very important for anyone walking in the yard.


But why the helmet?


So I, MELVIN ZWICK, scratched my head when a light bulb pooped up and lit up the cool morning air. A brilliant MELVIN ZWICK, idea. I, MELVIN ZWICK the great animal protector would steal Timothy’s pajama bottoms and put them on Gabriel.


Angel, the llama was giving me, MELVIN ZWICK, a very suspicious look as I, MELVIN ZWICK, put Timothy‘s pajama bottoms on Gabriel back side.


I, MELVIN ZWICK, remember the pasting Angle gave me when I, MELVIN ZWICK, took Grandpa’s pots outside to get a better look at them.


I, MELVIN ZWICK, had one eye on Angel and one on Gabriel.


Here is Angel and Gabriel with his pants on.


Timothy, being a typical boy, thought it was a funny thing that I, MELVIN ZWICK, stole his pajama bottoms and put them on Gabriel’s bottom side. He was laughing as he looked at his pajamas bottoms on Gabriel.


Unfortunately Timothy’s bottom got cold when he sat down on the farm tractor seat. So Timothy went to the front door to go inside and get a second set of pajama bottoms. Chocolate loving Momma just happen to be by the front door with her camera when Timothy showed up at the door.


So what do we have? Another one of Chocolate Loving Momma’s great photos.
As you can see in the photo, Timothy is still laughing.

Wait a minute. I, MELVIN ZWICK, just figured why the helmet.
Timothy was on the tractor going varoom varoom varoom. Everyone knows that one must wear a helmet if you race around on a farm tractor.

THE END FOR NOW

WHICH IS BETTER FISH OR MARSHMALLOWS?
By
WHO ELSE BUT THE GREAT MELVIN ZWICK

Lydia and Kyle went fishing in Swofford Pond which is near the Bowes Ranch.
The picture reminds me of a song. “PUT YOUR SHOES ON LUCY DON’T YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN THE CITY.”

Now friends, I, MELVIN ZWICK, have seen Swofford Pond. Here in Arizona when we have a body of fresh water as big as Swofford Pond we call it a lake.

So I, MELVIN ZWICK, wanting to be correct in defining what a lake is looked up the word on Wikipedia. What a weird name, Wikipedia. Anyway Wikipedia, had the following to say about lakes.

A lake (from Latin lacus) is a terrain feature (or physical feature) that is a considerable inland body of water, not part of the ocean, that is larger and deeper than a pond, and may or may not be moving slowly, and is localized to the bottom of basin (another type of landform or terrain feature) and is fed by a river.[1][2]
Natural lakes are generally found in mountainous areas, rift zones, and areas with ongoing or recent glaciation. Other lakes are found in endorheic basins or along the courses of mature rivers. In some parts of the world, there are many lakes because of chaotic drainage patterns left over from the last Ice Age. All lakes are temporary over geologic time scales, as they will slowly fill in with sediments or spill out of the basin containing them.
There is considerable uncertainty about defining the difference between lakes and ponds. For example, limnologists have defined lakes as waterbodies which are simply a larger version of a pond, or which have wave action on the shoreline, or where wind induced turbulence plays a major role in mixing the water column. None of these definitions completely excludes ponds and all are difficult to measure. For this reason there has been increasing use made of simple size-based definitions to separate ponds and lakes. In the United Kingdom, for example, the charity Pond Conservation - which works to protect all types of freshwater ecosystem - has defined lakes as waterbodies of 2 hectares (5 acres) or more in area [3]. Elsewhere, other workers have treated lakes as waterbodies of 5 hectares (12 acres) and above, or 8 hectares (20 acres) and above (see definitions of pond). Charles Elton, one of the founders of ecology, regarded lakes as waterbodies of 40 hectares (99 acres) or more, a value somewhat larger than modern studies would suggest appropriate [4]. The term "lake" is also used to describe a feature such as Lake Eyre, which is a dry basin most of the time but may become filled under seasonal conditions of heavy rainfall.

How is that for a bunch of gobbly gook?

After all that I, MELVIN ZWICK, still think that Swofford Pond in Arizona would be called Swofford Lake.

This is LAKE BILLY CHINOOK in Deschutes National Forest, Oregon. Its not bigger that Swooford pond and it is still a lake. Maybe in Oregon small bodies of water are lakes and in Washington they are ponds.
Anyway with a name like LAKE BILLY CHINOOK it would have to be a lake and not a pond. In fact with a name like LAKE BILLY CHINOOK it should be an ocean.

And so we have discussed ponds vs. lakes which leads us to marshmallows.

How did we get to marshmallows from ponds and lakes you ask. Come on I know you are wondering. Lakes to marshmallows? How did that happen?

Well family it is quite simple for me, MELVIN ZWICK, to get to marshmallows from lakes. First the subject of this paper is ponds and lakes and what do they have in common? Water right. And what letter does water start with? “W” correct. And what does a “W” have to do with marshmallows?
You must remember that in my, MELVIN ZWICK’S weird and upside down world the letter “W” could lead to Marshmallows.

I could make it a puzzle for all of you to solve but this time I, MELVIN ZWICK, will divulge how I, MELVIN ZWICK, got to marshmallows from ponds and lakes.

Water is common to both ponds and lakes and water starts with “W” which in my, MELVIN ZWICK, upside world is an upside down “M” which is what the word marshmallows starts with. Simple right?
Not only that but Chocolate Loving Momma sent pictures of Mr. Joseph sneaking into the pantry and getting a before smores package. I, MELVIN ZWICK could not let those pictures get by without a few comments by me, MELVIN ZWICK.

The following is in Joseph own thoughts. I, MELVIN ZWICK, used my psychic ability to read his mind from the photos Chocolate Loving Momma put into her blog.

“Ha Ha Chocolate Loving Momma is helping Valerie use some things that are sharp but I don’t know the word for them yet. They are working on some cloth. Something about a future dress.
I will just sneak into the pantry and see what I can find. If I am real sneaky no one will know I, JOESPH, am in the pantry.
Oh boy a bag of some white squishy things that look like they might be something good to eat. I, JOSEPH, remember that my brothers and sisters use these things on a stick over a fire and make them all black then eat them. I, JOSEPH, wonder what they taste like.”
I, JOSEPH, could open the bag and eat some. If I, JOSEPH, Dood It I might get into trouble. I, JOSEPH, will dood it anyway.

“Lets see. How do they taste? Uhmmmmm they taste good. I, JOSEPH, bet they taste a lot better than those black things my brothers and sisters eat.”




“These things are really squishy. I, JOSEPH, wonder how many I can put into my mouth at a time before Chocolate Loving Momma catches me? Lets see I have four in my mouth now and am about to cram in another one.”




“Oh oh!!!!!!!!!!! Caught in the act. Maybe I, JOSEPH, can convince Chocolate Loving Momma that the monkeys on my pajamas made me dood it.”
“While I, JOSEPH, explain it maybe Chocolate Loving Momma may not notice that I am about to eat another one.”
“ I love my Momma. All she did was take pictures of me, Joseph eating those squishy things.”

THE END FOR NOW

Melvin Zwicks location

Miss Robyn,

Chocolate Loving Momma, your comment indicates that you don't belong to the Bowes Five Arrow Great Detectives.

The Bowes Five Arrows would have spotted me, MELVIN ZWICK, Maybe I should have made spotting me, MELVIN ZWICK, a puzzle for all to solve.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, am hiding in the upper right corner of the photo.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, know it is l little difficult to make me, MELVIN ZWICK, out but I, MELVIN ZWICK,` am sitting there.

There goes Melvin Zwick again. Melvin Zwick never was sitting in the bleachers as he said. That fellow in the upper right corner of the photo is some poor fellow who lost his indemnity to Melvin Zwick.

JOSEPH AND THE DEMOLITION DERBY

JOSEPH AND THE DEMOLITION DERBY
by
MELVIN ZWICK, THE GREAT DEMOLITION DRIVER

The Bowes and Seven Arrows went to the SW Washington Fair to see me, MELVIN ZWICK, drive his number 32, Donut Patrol car in the Fair’s Demolition Derby.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, am a champion Demolition Derby driver and was delighted that Grandpa’s Family were at the Fair to see me, MELVIN ZWICK, win another race. I, MELVIN ZWICK, know that I will win this race because Kyle, Timothy and Joseph helped tune up the Donut Patrol engine. My Donut Patrol car was tuned up and raring to go.

Here is Lydia, Timothy, Valerie, Computer Expert Daddy, Caroline, Joseph, Victoria and Kyle waiting to see me, MELVIN ZWICK, win another race. Little did they know that I, MELVIN ZWICK, was sitting in the stands debating what to do. You can see me in the purple shirt sitting in the upper right of the photo.

Unfortunately, just before the race I, MELVIN ZWICK, had entered the Bull riding contest. I, MELVIN ZWICK, rode that raging bull for the full time and was awarded enough points to win the Bull riding contest. Unfortunately while getting off that mean bull I, MELVIN ZWICK, fell and hurt my, MELVIN ZWICK’S, shoulder. I, MELVIN ZWICK, am a tough old bird and was ready to enter the Demolition Derby when the Doctor who examined my, MELVIN ZWICK, shoulder said I had better sit in the stands and watch the race and not enter the race.
I was sitting in the stands debating if I should race and not disappoint the family or tell them about my injury. I, MELVIN ZWICK, made the decision to follow the Doctors advice and not race.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, told Grandpa’s family about my, MELVIN ZWICK’S, shoulder condition.

Lydia said, “Oh poor Melvin Zwick, are you hurting very much? To bad you were not riding Justice the sheep. He would not have hurt you”

Kyle said, “If that mean bull was here I would hit it just like I hit that pinata.”

Victoria laughted holding up her starfish bitten hand and said, “I am not laughing at your hurt but about you Melvin Zwick, having just joined me in the Crash and Bang gang.”

Valerie said, “Melvin Zwick can I get you something to make you feel better?"

Caroline said, “Hey Melvin Zwick I wanted you to climb the climbing wall with me. Now I will just have to climb it by myself”

Timothy just looked at me MELVIN ZWICK, with a very sad face.

Joseph, who had just finished eating a bag of Cheetoes, was jumping up and down and pointing to his chest. Valerie interpreted Joseph actions and said he wanted to drive Melvin Zwicks number 32 car in the Demolition Derby.

So there was a serious discussion between the members of The Bowes family and me, MELVIN ZWICK. The Six arrows all agreed that the seventh Arrow should be allowed to enter the race in the Donut Patrol car. Chocolate loving Momma was very much against having her baby Joseph driving in the race.
I, MELVIN ZWICK, had a difficult time finding a picture of Chocolate Loving Momma. It seems she is always behind the camera and not in front of it. This one is a little old.

Computer Expert Daddy listened to all the discussion then said. “We should follow our family policy and vote on the subject.”

A quick vote was taken and poor Chocolate loving Momma lost. The vote was seven to one. Joseph did not vote as the vote was about him.

It was obvious that Joseph would need some training now that the decision was made to allow Joseph to drive my, MELVIN ZWICK, Donut Patrol. I, MELVIN ZWICK, the expert teacher, showed Joseph all the controls and told him the rules of the race. Computer expert Daddy and I, MELVIN ZWICK, placed some extensions on the gas and clutch petal. The brake is not used in a demolition Derby.

While the training was going on six of the Seven Arrows took a break and had some ice cream.

Joseph listened with intent and absorbed everything I, MELVIN ZWICK, the champion Demolition Derby driver told him. He was ready.

Wait a minute. Joseph did not have a helmet. You can’t race without a helmet. When was the last time the helmet was last seen.

It was worn by Timothy when he was crab fishing. Chocolate Loving Momma made a quick trip to the camper and found the helmet.

Joseph left the family and drove to the track.

The announcer spoke into the mike and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen and all you Rednecks, Melvin ZWICK , the Champion Demolition Derby driver will not be driving his Number 32 car today. He hurt his shoulder in the bull riding contest. Driving in his place will be Joseph Bowes.”

The fans all knew that I, MELVIN ZWICK, the Champion Demolition Derby driver was scheduled to drive the number 32 car. That’s why they were there at the race. When they realized that I, MELVIN ZWICK, was not driving they started to leave.

Everyone in the stands gasps when they saw little Joseph driving the number 32 car onto the track.

They sat back down figuring it might be a very interesting race after all.

The race was started and Joseph due to his excellent training from me, MELVIN ZWICK, and his excellent reflexes was knocking cars left and right. You can see him in the number 32 car at the right of this photo. He is after the white car after forcing the two tone white and red car into the tires.

Joseph can be seen backing on his way to wipe out the red car after putting the yellow car out of action. All the cars in the pile up near the tires were put out of the race by Joseph.
Joseph was the only car driving after he put the red car out of action.

All the fans in the bleachers gave Joseph a standing ovation. Chocolate Loving Momma was so happy that her baby Joseph was safe that she had tears streaming from her face. She was totally incapable of taking any more pictures of her award winning son.

So if any of you want to see a picture of Championship Demolition Derby Driver Joseph accepting his award you will have to look in a SW Washington newspaper.

And so Joseph won his first trophy.

Timothy cheered so hard during the race that he went to sleep after the race.

Joseph could not see why his family was so excited about his win. He said he only followed my, MELVIN ZWICK’S instructions. How could he not win with those instructions.
He promptly went to sleep in Computer Expert Daddy’s arms. Computer Expert Daddy was so very proud of his little boy.

THE END UNTIL THE NEXT RACE

There you go again Melvin Zwick. You see a few photos of my daughter Chocolate loving Momma and her husband Computer Expert Daddy and the Seven arrows, Lydia, Kyle, Caroline, Victoria, Valerie, Timothy and Joseph and you write some far fetched story. The only thing true in this story is the photos. They are for real.

THE SHIPWRECKED BOWES 5 ARROWS
By
MELVIN ZWICK
This is a story about the time the Bowes 5 arrows were shipwrecked.

The Bowes 5 arrows, Lydia, Victoria, Caroline, Valerie and Kyle were on a summer cruse ship on the lake near their home in Mossyrock, Washington.

They were having a great time playing baseball. Kyle just hit a home run. Victoria almost fell overboard trying to catch Kyle’s home run ball. The ball fell into the lake. Valerie, Caroline and Victoria were on the ship railing about to jump in after the ball when Lydia told them they might not be able to get back on board the ship once they were in the water.

Timothy, who was on the beach driving his dump truck, saw Kyle’s home run ball fall into the water.
He knew how important a home run ball was so he drove his dump truck out into the lake to snag the ball. Timothy snagged the ball and headed back to the shore.

The Bowes 5 arrows looked out and saw their brother Timothy and his dump truck headed toward the ball. They knew Timothy would save the day and get the ball.

About this time the ship ran into a large log which was floating on the lake. The force of the blow knocked a large hole in the side of the ship. The shop started to sink.

The Bowes 5 arrows, Lydia, Victoria, Caroline, Valerie and Kyle helped all the passengers into life boats. What else would on expect from the Bowes Kids? Once all the passengers were on the lifeboats the Bowes 5 arrows realized there was no room for themselves in any of the lifeboats.

The 5 arrows had to jumped into the water and swim to the log that had hit the ship. Once on the log they swam to shore.

Joseph wanted to swim out and help his brother and sisters. Computer Guru Daddy Bowes knew Joseph could not swim so he grabbed him by his hand and carried him to shore.

Joseph collected a part of the ship as a souvenir of the event.

Chocolate loving Momma Bowes took these great photos of this monumental event.

Once again, I the Great MELVIN ZWICK, was on the spot to record this new Chapter in the Life of the Bowes Family.

THE END FOR NOW