MELVIN ZWICK AND THE BEAR
by
NONE OTHER THEN THE GREAT MELVIN ZWICK
by
NONE OTHER THEN THE GREAT MELVIN ZWICK
You all know how hot it gets in Phoenix. How hot does it get? Why it gets so hot we do not need a fire to roast our marshmallows. We just put them on a stick and set them out in the sun. They should not be left out too long or they will catch fire and turn into charcoal.
This story is about the black bear I, MELVIN ZWICK, met while roasting my, MELVIN ZWICK, marshmallows over a camp fire in the beautiful tall pines of Flagstaff. After turning most of a package of marshmallows into charcoal I, MELVIN ZWICK, the guy who can do anything, figured how to make a tasty roasted marshmallow. You take the marshmallow out of the package, hold it in the cupped palms of you hands until it warms up, then you eat it. No more charcoal marshmallows for me, the GREAT MELVIN ZWICK.
One night the Park Ranger was talking to all of us campers while we were sitting around a nice campfire. He was telling us about all the critters that live in the forest.
He said there were black bears and grizzles bears living all around us. Both bears can be dangerous. If one decides to get you, you will not be able to outrun it. They run much faster that a person can run. They can climb up a tree after you.
So what do you do? The best defense is to carry a whistle and a can of pepper spray. If you run into a bear blow the whistle as loud and as long as you can. Bears do not like loud noises. If the bear gets too close use the pepper spray.
Someone asked how can you tell if the bear near us is a black bear of grizzly. The ranger said you have to look at the bear poop. If it contains nuts and berries the bear that left it is a black bear. If the poop contains a whistle and a can of pepper spray it is a grizzly bear.
Well that gave us a little to think about.
After the talk we all roasted some marshmallows. Most of the campers created charcoal for their BBQ pit. I, MELVIN ZWICK, did my usual marshmallow roasting thing and had lots of great roasted marshmallows. By the way did I tell you, you have to wash your hands very well before cupping the marshmallow.
After the marshmallow roast the ranger said one of the campers had a bunch of watermelons and invited us all to share in some \dessert.
So we all sat around eating and spitting. That is another nice thing about camping. You can spit the seeds on the ground and not have to worry about the cleaning lady complaining about the mess.
When we were all don a nice lady picked up the rinds in her arms and walked over to the nearest trash can. Luckily the lid was open. She walked up to the can and was about to drop all these rinds into the can when two hairy paws reached up and grabbed them. The lady turned screaming and ran back to her camper, grabbed her whistle and pepper spray. The noise was deafening and the smell of the pepper spray made all of us tear up. It seemed there was a black bear in the trash can.
I, MELVIN ZWICK, had so many tears in my eyes I, MELVIN ZWICK, could not find my camper and my camera. So that bear got away without me, MELVIN ZWICK, taking his portrait.
Well after a long night of nervous chatter we all went to our campers and had some nervous sleep.
After that I, MELVIN ZWICK, always had my camera with me. Two afternoons later I, MELVIN ZWICK, took these pictures.
Here he is waiting for dinner. He looks like he can wait a little while.
Now he is getting a little anxious. No one wanted to walk up to him and feed him. Thank goodness for a telephoto lens on my, MELVIN ZWICK’S, camera.
Well that ends another MELVIN ZWICK story.
Well almost. On the way out I, MELVIN ZWICK, took this picture of the sign posted by the Park Ranger.
Melvin Zwick you are such a false story creator. Nothing about this story is true. You can not roast marshmallows in the Phoenix heat without a fire. You did not go camping in Flagstaff. You were home helping me, GRANDPA, create jewelry. You never ate watermelons and you did not take the pictures of the bear. However they sure are great pictures.
