Saturday, July 12, 2008




THE SHIPWRECKED BOWES 5 ARROWS
By
MELVIN ZWICK
This is a story about the time the Bowes 5 arrows were shipwrecked.


The Bowes 5 arrows, Lydia, Victoria, Caroline, Valerie and Kyle were on a summer cruse ship on the lake near their home in Mossyrock, Washington.
They were having a great time playing baseball. Kyle just hit a home run. Victoria almost fell overboard trying to catch Kyle’s home run ball. The ball fell into the lake. Valerie, Caroline and Victoria were on the ship railing about to jump in after the ball when Lydia told them they might not be able to get back on board the ship once they were in the water.


Timothy, who was on the beach driving his dump truck, saw Kyle’s home run ball fall into the water.
He knew how important a home run ball was so he drove his dump truck out into the lake to snag the ball. Timothy snagged the ball and headed back to the shore.


The Bowes 5 arrows looked out and saw their brother Timothy and his dump truck headed toward the ball. They knew Timothy would save the day and get the ball.



About this time the ship ran into a large log which was floating on the lake. The force of the blow knocked a large hole in the side of the ship. The shop started to sink.



The Bowes 5 arrows, Lydia, Victoria, Caroline, Valerie and Kyle helped all the passengers into life boats. What else would on expect from the Bowes Kids? Once all the passengers were on the lifeboats the Bowes 5 arrows realized there was no room for themselves in any of the lifeboats.


The 5 arrows had to jumped into the water and swim to the log that had hit the ship. Once on the log they swam to shore.

Joseph wanted to swim out and help his brother and sisters. Computer Guru Daddy Bowes knew Joseph could not swim so he grabbed him by his hand and carried him to shore.
Joseph collected a part of the ship as a souvenir of the event.


Chocolate loving Momma Bowes took these great photos of this monumental event.


Once again, I the Great MELVIN ZWICK, was on the spot to record this new Chapter in the Life of the Bowes Family.


THE END FOR NOW

Friday, July 11, 2008




GREMLIN PHOTO
By
MELVIN ZWICK



I, MELVIN ZWICK, was reviewing some of the photos I took during grandpa’s and my battle with the computer gremlins on Zwickland. It should be remembered that my, MELVIN ZWICK’S camera has a special lens that allows the camera to see things that normal cameras can not see. This is a photo of one gremlin taken before he vanished into the world of free electrons.

You can see the poor critter is so ugly only a mother could love it. This gremlin was so nervous he was chewing on his back leg.

Melvin Zwick you took this photo off the internet. This is a photo of the dog that won the ugliest dog in the world contest many years in a row until he died recently. You are partly correct about one thing. Only a mother could love it.

However there was one more person who loved it.
The owner loved it so much they modified this picture which shows what they thought of him. They gave the ugliest dog in the world a halo and wings.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

COMPUTER GLITCH CAUSING GREMLINS

COMPUTER GLITCH CAUSING GREMLINS
By
MELVIN ZWICK
INTRODUCTION

A few words of guidance are appropriate before I, MELVIN ZWICK, tell this story.
This story is written by me, MELVIN ZWICK, as I, MELVIN ZWICK, sit in my abode on the Island of Zwickland. I, MELVIN ZWICK, have been so busy with running Zwickland that computer time is very limited, so this story will be written in short burst of keyboard action.
As most of you know there were no computers on Zwickland in the past. The ability of me, MELVIN ZWICK, to write this story on my, MELVIN ZWICK’S computer while on Zwickland is what this story is about.
In the story that follows Grandpa’s comments will be shown in italics. Grandpa’s comments are added as Grandpa reads the story after I, MELVIN ZWICK have written the story.



CHAPTER I
MELVIN ZWICK AND GRANDPA DISCUSS OLD TIMES

It was a fine sunny morning when Joseph Bowes landed his Grandpa at the Zwickland airport.
Captain Joseph did a low flyby above the Zwickland runway before attempting the landing. I, Grandpa, looked out of the window at the runway which looked like postage in the middle of an ocean. I thought for sure we were going to go for a swim.
Grandpa was quite worried about the landing because as you all know the Zwickland airport runway if VERY short and a landing is quite the accomplishment. But Captain Joseph did an excellent job of putting the plane down on the runway with runway to spare.
It was the first time Grandpa had visited the Zwickland Airport since Caroline, Victoria, Kyle, Valerie and Lydia built the terminal building.
Grandpa had time to admire the beauty of Caroline’s design as he walked toward it. The space for that terminal was limited so the terminal had to be small and very functional. The building is very colorful. The building blocks used in the construction are of various colors.
I, MELVIN ZWICK, met Grandpa at the airport. After one of Grandpa’s big hugs I, MELVIN ZWICK, took Grandpa to the Zwickland Hotel where I introduced him to Fuzzy White the hotel manager. As you may remember from a previous story Fuzzy White is a white gorilla who thinks he is a human. Fuzzy gets very irritated if he is called a gorilla and an irritated gorilla is something you do not want to meet head on.
Unfortunately Grandpa was not forewarned of Fuzzy’s dislike of being called a gorilla. Grandpa laughed when I introduced him to Fuzzy and said, “That’s pretty neat, Melvin Zwick, having the hotel manager dressed in a gorilla suit. I bet the guests get a big kick out of that.”
Fuzzy, the white gorilla turned red and said to Grandpa I will give you a big kick as he started to come around the registration counter. If Fuzzy had not been behind the counter when Grandpa made his statement Grandpa would have been sent through the wall into the front yard by a strong Fuzzy kick. Grandpa immediately realized he had made a BIG mistake but did not know how to calm Fuzzy.
I, MELVIN ZWICK, had time to calm Fuzzy down before his kick was released. Fuzzy demanded that Grandpa bow his head and say he was sorry three times.
Grandpa bowed his head and said he was sorry three times plus two times for good measure. Fuzzy may be a gorilla who does not like being called a gorilla but he at least is fast to accept an apology and become the graceful hotel manager again.

Anyone looking at the size of Fuzzy, seeing a white gorilla who has turned red and seeing the glare in his eyes would have apologized 40 times if asked to so.

Fuzzy gave Grandpa a key to a room and said he hoped he would have a nice stay.
Grandpa put his things into his room. He immediately noticed there was no computer connection available. Grandpa opened his lap top and checked for any wireless connections. None were available. Grandpa thought that was strange but did not have time to think about it as it was off for a tour of Zwickland guided by me, MELVIN ZWICK.

After the tour we went to the only Zwickland restaurant and had an excellent Mexican food meal. Grandpa was surprise to find a Baja Green Corn Tamale. He thought only Macayo’s in Phoenix had the Baja sauce.
The food reminded me, Grandpa, of the excellent Mexican food I had with the Bowes in Morton, Washington, and the great food McKenna, Cassidy and Kelley had at Macayos, in Phoenix.
It was then on to my, MELVIN ZWICK’S home to reminisce about old times.

We talked about the time I, MELVIN ZWICK, disappeared and Grandpa being concerned about me sent out his cat Pepe to find me. Pepe asked all the cats in the neighbor if they had seen me, MELVIN ZWICK. None of them had seen me because I was hiding in Grandpa’s work room.
Then there was the time I tried to take Grandpa’s pots out of the Bowes home so I, MELVIN ZWICK, could observe them in better light. The Bowes kiddos, thinking I was stealing them, tackled me while Kyle got Angle after me. Angle slimed me, MELVIN ZWICK.
We laughed about the story I, MELVIN ZWICK, wrote about the time the Bowes Goats snuck out of their pasture. Old Justice unlocked the gate and Goliath led the goats into the new pasture where they could eat grass all night to their hearts content.
This story does not have enough space to mention all the stories Grandpa and I, MELVIN ZWICK, talked about. Evening went by very fast. Grandpa and I, MELVIN ZWICK, decided it was time for bed so we hugged and parted until morning.
Grandpa later admitted that he was at a great loss without a way to connect his computer to the outside world.


CHAPTER II
THE COMPUTER GLITCH CAUSING GREMLIN


Grandpa wrote several e-mails early in the evening which he would send when he found a wireless network. To this point Grandpa seemed to enjoy his first visit to Zwickland. After writing the e-mails he set his lap top on the night stand next to the bed. He connected the charging unit to the computer to insure the battery would be fully charged. Then it was down and to sleep on the hotel’s special air mattresses. The bed felt very good after the walking I, MELVIN ZWICK, and Grandpa had during the day.

Grandpa was just dozing off when he felt a presents in the room. He opened one eye and look toward his computer. There, creeping up slowly, towards the computer was a shadowy figure. Grandpa could see by the creatures outline and height it was not a normal human. Grandpa rolled his legs around towards the critter and gave it a swift kick. The critter bounced off the wall and slumped to the floor.

Immediately Grandpa jumped out of bed and turned on the lamp which was on the night stand.
Then he turned around and looked at the critter. There was no question about it. The critter slumped against the wall was definitely not a human form. Then Grandpa had a sudden feeling of guilt. He remembered that many of the hotel staff were not fully human. Was this critter a hotel staff member? But why then was this critter sneaking up on Grandpa’s lap top?


The noise of the critter hitting the wall and the loud shout Grandpa’s gave when kicking the critter brought me, MELVIN ZWICK, running into the room. Immediately I, MELVIN ZWICK, saw the critter and gave out a gasp. I, MELVIN ZWICK, had never seen such an ugly living thing, well maybe there was once a picture of a Mexican hairless dog that might compete with this ugly thing for ugliness. The thing was about as tall as a young child and was standing on two spindly legs. There were no toes on the feet. The hair on the thing was standing away from the body as if the thing had stuck his finger into a light socket. Then I, MELVIN ZWICK, noticed the thing had only one finger on one hand that looked like a connector and one finger on the other hand that looked like a pointed probe. There were no other fingers.


The thing had what appeared to be two eyes and a mouth although they were not as obvious as those on a dog. The face was round and flat almost like the bottom of a soup bowl.
There was even a slight buzzing sound coming from the body. Sort of like the noise coming from the spark between your finger and the door knob when you charge your body up by sliding you shoes along the carpet. The noise was much softer than that but it was one continuous noise not just one Zap.
It took a while to notice every inch of the thing was slightly moving. It was as if the thing was getting goose bumps that were moving all over its body.
It became obvious to Grandpa that the critter was not on the working staff. About that time the critter started to stir. I, MELVIN ZWICK, grabbed the wrist, if one were to call it that, and held it from escaping. I, MELVIN ZWICK, was amazed how weak the critter was. It struggles to free itself but to no avail. I, MELVIN ZWICK, felt a slight tingle in the hand that I used to hold the thing. My, MELVIN ZWICK’S, hand felt like it does when I have laid on it and it falls asleep.


Grandpa asked the critter his name and what he was doing in his room moving toward the computer. The critter just sat there silently without moving glaring off at the opposite wall through sky blue eyes. Grandpa offered to give him another kick unless he started to talk. Nothing from the critter.
Grandpa lifted his leg in preparation of delivering another kick to the critter. The critter scrunched down in anticipation of the kick and in a very squeaky buzzy voice said his name was Mousewiggle zzz then he shut up.
“Mousewiggle,” Grandpa said, “If you don’t start taking you will get the beating of your life.”
Again the physical threat of a kick from Grandpa caused Mousewiggle to say a few more words.

A note on the writing here. I, MELVIN ZWICK, have colored all the z’s in the following because the zzzz sound was caused by electrical discharges from the thing. Electrical discharges are blue.


He said, “I am zz Mousewiggle, zzzz a Computer zzz Glitch z Causing Gremlin zzz who was zzzz attempting z to mess zzzzzzzz up your zzzz computer mouse zzzzzzzz. I am zz an assembly zzzzzz of electrons zzz that take the form zzz you see zzzz. That zzz is zzzz what I am zzzzzz trained zzzzzz for” “You see zzzz, that zz is zzzz what kind zzzz of a Computer Glitch zzzz Causer zzzz I am zzzzzzz.” “I have been zzz trained to cause zzz Computer mice zzz to act weird zzzz.” “That is zzzz why I zz am zzzzzz named zzz Mousewizzle.” We zz Computer Glitch zzzz Causing Gremlins zzzzzz are named zzz after the zzzzzz work we zzz are trained zzz to do zz.
“We were zzz alerted that zzz there was a computer zzzz on Zingerland zz when the person zzzz you call zz Grandpa tried to zzz find a wireless zzz connection zzzz earlier zzzzzz .”
“I was zzz attempting to enter zzz your computer zzzz and foul zzzz up the mouse zzzzzz.” “If I zzz had zzzz completed zzzzzz my mission zzz the zzzz mouse zzz pointer on the computer screen zzzzzzz would zzzzzz not follow zzz the action zzzz of the zz mouse zzzzzzzz.


Then Mousewiggle shut up.


I, MELVIN ZWICK, stated, “We have experienced computer glitches ever since we have had computer but I, MELVIN ZWICK, don’t believe I have ever seen a Computer Glitch Causing Gremlin before.”
Again Mousewiggle set his lips and would not talk but this time he seemed to be getting very shaky.
Grandpa, assuming his threats were causing Mousewiggle to get very shaky, raised a fist again and Mousewiggle scrunched down and in his very squeaky buzzy voice said, “Have zzzzzz you never zzzz wondered zzz why zzzz there are zzz no computers zzzz on the Island zzzz of Zingerland?” “Now zzz that you have zzzz forced zzzz me to talk zzzz I will zzzzzzz tell you all zzzz about zz Computer zzzzzzz Glitch zzzz Causing zzzzzzzzzz Gremlins.”
Mousewiggle in a very shaky, buzzy and squeaky voice that seemed to be buzzing more with each minute started to talk rapidly. He gave Grandpa and me, MELVIN ZWICK, an impression of something that was in a great hurry to finish talking and to get on to other things.

The following is Mousewiggle’s story, summarized by me, MELVIN ZWICK, and told without the buzzing which I, MELVIN ZWICK, find to be very irratting.


Many many years ago several humans created what you humans call a computer. Sometime early on in the development of the computer several electrons, which had broken out of the wiring of a computer, got together and formed a pact to do what they could to stop their brother electrons from becoming slaves to the computer. Electrons in a computer go round and round in all the circuitry and never are free to do their own thing. The free electron’s plan was to screw up computers so much that humans would give up developing them and free the trapped electrons. It was easy for the free electrons in the early years to screw up computer because computers were so new and humans were not very skilled in computer development.


Mousewiggle seemed to be getting more nervous and shaky as he continued.

Many of you may not remember radio tubes instead of a zillion circuits on a chip, heavy wires instead of macro copper runs on circuit boards, lots of switches instead of an on and off switch, core plane memories that were constructed with small beads with ladies stringing wires through them just like Indian bead work instead of 10 time the memory size on a small plug in chip, and lots of blinking lights and computer cabinets as big as soft drink dispensing machines which would take up several living rooms instead of computers you can carry in you pocket. As computers got bigger and more sophisticated the free electrons had to become more developed.
Eventually, to make a long story short, the electrons took the form that you see in front of you. It was obvious in this form they could not live with mortal beings so they moved to isolated spots on the earth where they could be trained in methods of messing up computers. They would become invisible when they entered the human world to mess up computers.

They were not like very nasty people crated viruses who completely destroyed a computer. They only made parts of the computer goof up without messing up the data stored in it.
They would make the screen go blank, the curser not work, stored data move from one place to another, the screen lose all color, the computer to shutdown right in the middle of inputting an important document and the like.


By this point in his narration, Mousewiggle became extremely shaky and nervous. His voice was buzzing to a greater degree. It seemed he could not stop the shaking his little hairy body was going though. But he continued with his story.

The North East corner of this island we call Zinergland and you call Zwickland was one of the places the free electrons setup a Computer Glitch Causing Gremlin training center. Initially the Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins were minor irritations to computers.
Then a thing like VOLTZAPPER came from out of the unknown and took over the base and forced the Gremlins to be much more aggressive Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins.
A VOLTZAPPERS, looks like a Gremlin except he is bigger and more angry looking, is created without the factories knowledge with each new computer as it rolls out the door. The VOLTZAPPER sets up a training base and creates 20 Gremlins which operate only on the computer he was assigned at the factory. He created the Gremlins by holding a computer chip between the finger and thumb of both his hands. He then created a large voltage to flow into the chip and a gremlin is formed. He has to continually train the gremlins as the electrons assemblies have very short memories.

VOLTZAPPER is not a real Computer Glitch Causing Gremlin. He is the same as the spark that develops between you finger and the door knob. If you do wrong he puts one hand on one side of your body and his other hand on the other side of your body. He then sends a voltage through your body which drives your electrons into the ground through him as he replaces you with new electrons. You no longer exist as a Computer Glitch Causing Gremlin if VOLTZAPPER get mad at you.
Many of the Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins think that things like VOLTZAPPER have come from a source that is more nasty than any Gremlin wanted to be.
He also said there were several guards around the base that were lesser VOLTZAPPERS. They seem to emanate from VOLTZAPPER being. He feeds them energy which causes them to exist. Several Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins feel if VOLTZAPPER was shut down the guards would go with him.


It is here in VOLTZAPPER'S school where we train in our natural form without scaring humans. We all are taught a different way to screw up a computer. Once trained, VOLTZAPPER sends the his gremlins out to perform their task on the computer he was assigned to follow.
Mousewiggle stated that he is visible to us because Zinergland is the overall base of the Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins.


Something seemed to be happening to Mousewiggle’s body. There seemed to be small sparks being sent off the hairs on his body and there was a continuous, very low buzzing noise.

At this time Mousewiggle asked frantically for us to turn him loose so he could enter the computer. He said, “If I, Mousewiggle do not zzzzzzz ent zzzzzzzzzzzzzz er a comp zzzzzzz uter zzzzzzzzzzzzzz so zz on I zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wil zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz l ent zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz er the eart zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz er ”

At that precise moment Mousewiggle seemed to dissolve into the earth in a loud buzzing noise with lots of sparks emanating from the hairs on his body. In an instant he was gone just like a pile of dust being sucked into a vacuum cleaner. There was not even a speck of Mousewiggle dust left behind. If one looked, with a magnifying glass, at the exact spot Mousewiggle was sitting on before he disappeared he might see a very small burned spot in the carpet.


I, MELVIN ZWICK, looked at Grandpa and he stared back at me. Was this some big dream we asked each other. A pinch of me, MELVIN ZWICK, by Grandpa and a pinch of Grandpa by me convinced us that this was not a dream.
But who ever heard of Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins? Well we had now.


CHAPTER III
ON TO THE GREMLIN BASE


Grandpa and I, MELVIN ZWICK, discussed what we had heard and seen. It was obvious we had to do something about the Computer Glitch Causing Gremlin base. But what? They would see us if we entered the base. We had no weapons other than Grandpa’s trusty pocket knives which would probably be no good against electrical circuits.
We decided we should at least go to the Computer Glitch Causing Training Base and check it out. Maybe by observing it we could determine a way to destroy it.

The North East corner of Zwickland is covered with trees and would be very dark under the canopy of the trees so we decided to wear dark clothes on out venture.
I, MELVIN ZWICK, the great hiker and camper looked at the aerial map of Zwickland and determined a hike to the base would probably take a little less than 8 hours. We would start early the next morning and be at the base before dinner. The plan was to hike to the base, observe the operation then come back and determine what we could do to wipe it off the face of the earth.
That would require carrying a couple days’ rations with us. I, MELVIN ZWICK, would have the Mexican restaurant fix us enough burros for a lunch on the way there, a dinner that night and breakfast and lunch on the way back. I would have them throw in a few extra burros for good measure.
That was the plan. It was a good plan but unfortunately it was not a correct plan.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, did not get a good night sleep because the thought of the adventure ahead kept me awake most of the night. Grandpa said he had the same problem.
There were two directions we could travel. One way would be to follow a direct line from the hotel to the base on the North East corner. On the map this looked like a shorter way but the climbing of the hills between the Hotel and the base would make it a much more exhausting hike.
The other way would be to follow the creek near the Hotel which turns into a river as it flows down to the North East Corner before entering the ocean. That hike would take us through some interesting topography and would be longer because of the wondering nature of a river. The map indicates the river flows through a couple of canyons on the way to the ocean. Walking through the canyons might be a challenge.


I, MELVIN ZWICK, recalled what the people I bought this island from said about natives that lived on here a long time ago. They had come to the island in boats after leaving their home on the mainland. It seemed they were a peaceful people who were being attacked continually by warring tribes. Their shaman had told them of a vision he had of a land to the west over the waters that was not occupied by anyone. They left the mainland in hopes of finding that better place to live. Once on the island they favored living in the canyons because they felt it would be more difficult for enemies to find them there. The legend goes on to say there were many trails through the canyons. With luck we would find those trails.
So dressed in dark clothes, wearing good hiking boots, carrying a couple of canteens and a backpack full of food and some tools we took off towards the base.


The first part of the hike was very easy as we were walking down a slight slope on a flat surface near a creek that progressively increased in size as it was joined by other creeks. The hike being easy allowed Grandpa and me, MELVIN ZWICK, to talk about our lives. Like for instance I, MELVIN ZWICK, never knew Grandpa sang Folk Songs on stage and on TV. Grandpa told me that his Granddaughter Cassidy was going to become a cheerleader and that McKenna was in a student leadership class and was the top of her class. He told me about the Bowes Rancher’s dog Allie that had 10 Puppies and how they sold them all.
Grandpa learned many things about me, MELVIN ZWICK, which we had better not write about.


We had entered an area thick with some weird plants that blocked our path. I, MELVIN ZWICK, told Grandpa they were chocolate plants. They produced large buds of edible chocolate. The buds presented an obstacle to our path. Grandpa started eating his way through the chocolate plants. As he was stuffing his face with delicious chocolate he said he wished Chocolate Loving Momma Bowes was with us as they could clear a path through the plants in no time. As it was we broke through the chocolate plants before Grandpa turned green.


That chocolate was so good. Comparing that chocolate to the chocolate sold in stores would be like comparing the taste of Chrystal Lite to the taste of water in a horse trough. It was a good thing Chocolate Loving Momma was not with us. If we had been together we would not have left that place until we ate all the chocolate buds.


We had not gone far when a pack of wild dogs spotted us. Calling three dogs a pack may be a little stretch even for me, MELVIN ZWICK. Anyway they started following us and were progressively getting closer and closer. They were about the size of German Sheppards and had a very mean hungry look.
Grandpa picked up a rock and tossed it at them. Grandpa’s aim was to say the least, very poor. I, MELVIN ZWICK, thought I would give it a try and heaved a rock about the size of a golf ball. I, MELVIN ZWICK, did not do much better than Grandpa.

The dogs were getting close enough to be of some concern. Grandpa and I started heaving a rock with every step. About this time Grandpa said it was too bad Strike Out Kyle Bowes wasn’t with us. He would have hit the lead dog with one throw at the distance Grandpa threw his first rock. By shear dumb luck one of Grandpa’s rock hit the lead dog on the nose. The dog let out a loud yip and took off followed by his buddies.


I, Grandpa think it was a good thing that Melvin Zwick didn’t hit the dog. If he had he would have bragged about it all the way to the base. It would be endless, “Did you see that. What a throw. I am a good pitcher.” And on and on.

Near lunch time we came close to our first canyon. We decided to have a lunch bite before trying to find a trail to follow along the river.
So it was down under a tree and out with a burro. Grandpa had his packets of Chrystal Lite with him. He told me, MELVIN ZWICK, the combination of lemonade and cherry pomegranate Chrystal Lite made a drink that was just right for the taste buds. A drink that would augment the flavor of the burros. So out came the canteens, packets of Chrystal Lite and a little bit of mixing and shaking and sure enough Grandpa was correct.


While we were sitting under the shade of a tree eating our lunch and drinking that great tasting Chrystal Lite eagle eyed Grandpa spotted a rabbit disappearing through several bushed down river from us. We decided that might be a good place to start our search for a trail through the canyon.
So it was back up and on to the hike. We went through the bushes where the rabbit had passes through. We found no trail on the other side of the bushes. Grandpa said he felt the rabbit would lead us to a human trail if we followed his foot prints.
I, MELVIN ZWICK, wondered how we would follow the trail of a rabbit.


It was obvious Melvin Zwick would be a lousy pathfinder. If we had not had a river to follow Melvin Zwick would have led us in the wrong direction.
Grandpa got low to the ground and lead us along the river deeper into the canyon. He said he could see slight foot prints left by the rabbit. That is when I, MELVIN ZWICK, realized Grandpa was a very talented tracker. We walked with Grandpa leading the way as he walked low to the ground. Every now and Grandpa would stop and survey the canyon ahead. After awhile of walking this way I said, “That rabbit sure has walked a long way.”
Grandpa just laughed and said he was following various critter trails and using a little dead reckoning as we went.


The canyon was a beautiful place to walk. The walls of the canyon led up from the river to the sky.
The canyon walls were closing in on the rive. I, MELVIN ZWICK, commented to Grandpa if we didn’t find a trail soon we would have had to start walking in the river.
Every now and the Grandpa would point out an Indian ruin in the side of the cliff wall. I, MELVIN ZWICK, must admit I could not see them without the aid of my binoculars.

When we had gone about two miles into the canyon we spotted a Nutraberry plant near the top of the cliff adjacent to the river. I, MELVIN ZWICK, told Grandpa the Nutraberry bush only grows on Zwickland and produces fruit about the size of a small apple. The fruit is unlike anything you have tasted. Even I, MELVIN ZWICK, the great word smith can not describe in appropriate words how wonderful the Nutraberry fruit tastes. Grandpa’s commented it was too bad Rock Climbing Caroline Bowes was not present to climb the cliff and get a few berries for us.
Almost an instant after Grandpa said that he stood up and walked about 50 feet and ended up on an old well worn foot path. We were in a canyon with tall walls on either side of the river. The trail which was not difficult to walk followed a natural recess in one of the walls.


As we were walking we heard a sad bleating noise ahead of us. Grandpa commented it sounded like sheep. He said he heard sheep calls while at the Bowes ranch.
We approached the sound cautiously. It turned out the bleating was coming from three sheep. They were in a recessed area with the only way out was a maze carved in the rock. They got into the recessed area by following the maze as they ate the grass on the trail. Once inside the area there was no more grass left in the maze to lead them out into the open. Without grass in the maze they could not figure how to negotiate their way out. Grandpa said it was too bad Lydia was not with us as she has a way with sheep and would have no trouble getting them out of the maze.
Grandpa and I climbed above the sheep opposite the entrance of the maze and herded the frightened critters out of their dilemma.


We broke out of the first canyon and ended up walking through a nice green valley. A short time later we had to enter another canyon. It did not take too long to find a trail that followed the river.
There came a time when we were in a thicket and found it difficult going. Grandpa explained it was too bad the Crash and Bang Bowes Young Lady Victoria was not with us. She would throw all abandon to the wind and crash and bang through the thicket. Anyway we struggled for a short time and fought our way through that thicket.


We followed that trail for about half an hour when we saw the whole trail ahead of us as it led the way through the canyon out into flat land.

We had finished the worst part of the hike and now had only a mile or so to walk on flat sloping land to reach the forest. We were high enough to see the forest off into the distance. The stream that was now a river headed straight for the forest in which the object of our adventure was located.


Grandpa and I, MELVIN ZWICK, discussed what our next action should be. We came to the conclusion that the base was probably guarded by the lesser VOLTZAPPERS. They would probably see us if we approached the base during the day. We decided to spend the rest of the day in the canyon and make the rest of the hike at night. Luckily there was a full moon and a clear sky.

So we found a good place to rest for a while and broke out some burros and Chrystal Lite.
After sitting there for a while we realized we were very tired and quite sore. Grandpa stated he sure could use a big Valerie Bowes hug. That always made things better.
When we had eaten our burro and drank our crystal Lite we found we had nothing more to talk about. We had shared the stories of our lives and Grandpa did his usual field trip education on me. Grandpa said it was too bad McKenna and Cassidy were not with us. They could entertain us with their guitar playing.
We decided to take a nap until around 10:00 PM. It would be dark enough then to walk to the base using the full moon light to guide us.


CHAPTER IV
ENTERING THE BASE


I, MELVIN ZWICK, awoke and noticed it was dark except for the moon light. I looked at my Timex illuminated watch screen and saw it was 10:00 PM. I woke Grandpa. We talked about the adventure we had before us. Our plan was to get as close to the operating portion of the base as we could to see what we could do to disable VOLTZAPPER and his crew of Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins.

Grandpa pulled some wire from his backpack and suggested that if we were attacked by VOLTZAPPER we should jump out of his attempted grip and wrap the wire around each of his hands. The wire might act as a short circuit between his hands and shut him down.
We put on our backpacks and started the final portion of our journey. We estimated it would only take about 30 minutes to cover the distance to the base.

We were walking is soft grass which silenced our footsteps. We hoped the Voltzapper Guards could not smell the sweet fragrance of the grass caused by us walking in it.
As we got closer to the base we were on the lookout for any guard. We found that we could get a better look at the area around the base by lying down and looking at the light in the center of the place. By doing this we could silhouette any guard that might be walking the perimeter of the base. On the third time we laid down we spotted someone walking around our side of the base. We watched for a while to determine his walking pattern. He would walk from a spot between the base and us then turn and walk to our left for about 100 feet then return. He walked this cycle continually.
We decided we could enter the base if we walked a little to the right bypassing him on his return to the left.


As it turned out we should have taken a little more time thinking about this plan. We should have realized if VOLTZAPPER had put a guard in one spot he surely would have put guards to cover the total peripheral of the base. Why was there and opening to the right?


Grandpa and I, MELVIN ZWICK, without thinking why a guard was missing crawled to the right. As we approached where the guards were walking we heard something like footsteps. There was the thump thump of a normal critter walking on the ground but there was also a little zap with each thump. Grandpa and I, MELVIN ZWICK, froze. We looked to our right and there was a VOLTZAPPER guard walking straight to us. We dare not move even though he was about to trip over us. He stumbled over Grandpa first then over me, MELVIN ZWICK. He shinned a light down and around us but acted like he did not see us. He shook his head and walked on at his usual pace. Grandpa and I, MELVIN ZWICK, crawled on towards the light of the base.

After a while we stopped and took a break. You know it is very difficult for adults to crawl for very long distances. Grandpa asked me, MELVIN ZWICK, what I thought about our episode with the guard. Why didn’t he sound the alarm? Did he not recognize us as intruders? We were talking about these options when Grandpa asked, “In the outside world Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins are invisible to us but here on Zwickland they are visible to us. “ “Is it possible we were invisible to them here in their world just like they are invisible to us in our world?”


We decided that was a good assumption but we needed to prove it? How would we do that? I, MELVIN ZWICK, said, “Because this is my island it is my responsibility to take the dangerous position.” “I will walk up to a guard and punch him on the nose. “ “If he sees me I will run like the wind back to the spot where the river left the canyon.” “Grandpa you sneak into the base and check things out.” “When you are done meet me at the convergence of the river and the canyon.” “If he doesn’t see me, I, MELVIN ZWICK, will walk back to you and we will both get up and walk into camp.” I, MELVIN ZWICK, was up and walking toward the nearest guard before Grandpa could say anything.


I, MELVIN ZWICK, took up a position on the line the guard was walking. He walked right into me. We were both knocked back by the collision. He turned on his light and started searching for what he had run into. The light flashed on and all around me. The guard looked very puzzled. He put his light back into the carrier and started walking forward again. This time I punched him it the nose and prepared to run. He stumbled back and brought out the light again. I, MELVIN ZWICK, could see his head shaking back and forth. If Grandpa had hit him I, MELVIN ZWICK, am sure the creature would be lying on the ground unable to get up.


There was no conclusion to make other than the fact the creature could not see us.
So it was up and a brisk walk into the base. We stopped at the edge of the base area. There we were in plain sight and not a one of those things saw us. We must be invisible.
The first impression we had was the base was a bee hive of activity. There were all sorts of things like Mousewiggle sitting at computer doing busily doing something.
There was every make of computer that is on the market today. In the middle of all this was a short tower that had an even uglier thing seated on it. The thing must be VOLTZAPPER. It was glaring down on all the gremlins and shouting out orders to them.


The area was under a tent type roof. Grandpa and I wondered why there was a roof in such a pretty spot under the trees.
As we studied the area we noticed that VOLTZAPPER had gone quiet. He no longer was shouting at the things.


Grandpa asked me, MELVIN ZWICK, what should we do now. I, MELVIN ZWICK, was momentarily dumbfounded by the weirdness of it all. Here we were standing invisibility in the middle of twenty very busy Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins. We could put a stop to them if we knew how.
Grandpa said lets think about it. Mousewizzle told us, just before he went into ground, that he had to get into the computer or he was gone. He made a desperate attempt to get into Grandpa’s computer. Maybe we could take advantage of that knowledge. How do Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins get into a computer? I bet they messed up computers by sticking their fingers into a connector on the computer and down loading some mess up code. Remember the Gremlins had only two fingers. One was a connector and the other was a pointed probe.
I, MELVIN ZWICK, thought Grandpa had a brilliant idea. But how do we prevent them from sticking a finger into a computer.


Grandpa came up with another brilliant idea. Because we and the things we have on are invisible to the electronic things maybe we could put an insulator between the fingers and the computer. If we could prevent them from making electrical onctact with the computer they might short out just like Mousewiggle did. Lets give it a try. Grandpa took out a piece of the clear wrap the Mexican food restaurant people had put on the burros.


We walked over to the nearest Computer Glitch Causing Gremlin. We read its nametag that it wore on its chest. It said “Disczignner. This thing must specialize in messing up disc players.
Grandpa placed the plastic wrap on the finger of each hand. The thing continued moving as if nothing had happened. It put the connector finger into a USB port on the computer. Nothing happened. He tried it again. The he placed the pointed finger on to the CD player. Nothing happened. The thing became some what nervous. He kept trying each finger in various connectors and ports on the computer in front of him. With each failed attempt the thing became more nervous. The things buzzing noise was becoming continuous. After many failed attempts it became frantic. Just like Mousewiggle it started to send out slight electrons from its hair then it gave one big buzz and vaporize into the ground. There was nothing left but two sheets on plastic wrap.

Grandpa laughed and said this was fun. He was getting even for all the Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins that had entered his lap top in the past.


I, MELVIN ZWICK, closed the laptop and carried it outside the training space.
We walked up to the next thing and read its name tag. It said “Screenzapper.”
The plastic wrap was placed on it two fingers and shortly it to vaporize into the ground.
We removed its computer. We continued the process until all Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins were zapped into the ground and all computers were removed. We were wondering why VOLTZAPPER was just there on the platform doing nothing. As we walked closer to the thing called VOLTZAPPER we saw that his what you might call eyes were shut.


Grandpa took out his wire thing and wrapped one end around one of VOLTZAPPER hand then wrapped the other end round the other hand. Nothing happened. Now what?


We had to get rid of VOLTZAPPER or he would start generating another class of gremlins. We assumed if VOLTZAPPER were awake the wire between his hands would short him out. I, MELVIN ZWICK, grabbed what looked like a nose and twisted it. VOLTZAPPER let out some buzzing, moved slightly and became still again.

Then a brilliant thought came to Grandpa. Voltage can be shorted out by water. We both took out canteens and gave VOLTZAPPER a Chrystal Lite shower. The thing woke up with a start and gave a very loud buzzing noise. It looked up to the roof of the tent. We assumed he thought the roof leaked some water on him. We poured a little more water on the thing known as VOLTZAPPER. He became more frantic. The wire between his hands started to glow red and he started to send out sparks form every hair on his body. His guards came rushing into the area. They too were buzzing and sending sparks everywhere.
Grandpa said the guards are connected to VOLTZAPPER with invisible wires. What happens to him happens to the guards.
We shook our canteens. We were almost out of Chrystal Lite. If VOLTZAPPER did not short out to earth with this last pour we were in trouble. Him might recover and rebuild 20 Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins.
Our last pour was made. VOLTZAPPER lit up like a light bulb and dissolved into the ground. We looked for the guards. They were all gone.

Grandpa and I, MELVIN ZWICK, gave each other a great big Grandpa hug. We had eliminated 20 Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins and their controller.

We set fire to the platform, tent, tables and chairs and all the computers. We laughed and joked as everything went up in a blaze of glory.


It was 4 in the morning. We realized we were very tired as the thrill of the adventure started to wear off. It was time to find a nice place to lie down and take a nap.


Later in the day we put on our boots and backpacks and walked to the river. A long drink and some cold water splashed on our face brought us to full awake. We filled our canteens and started back to he hotel.

We were half way through the second canyon when we heard some noise ahead of us. Grandpa and I found a place to hide. Shortly we spotted Fuzzy White and the Mexican crew walking down the trail. Grandpa and I stood up and gave out a hearty laugh. Our rescue squad had come to rescue us.
There were Grandpa Hugs all around. Well except for several rib cracking hugs from Fuzzy White.
We noticed it was lunch time. Grandpa and I were out of burros but not Chrystal Lite packets. Grandpa mixed the Chrystal Lite and the Mexican Crew pulled out a full Mexican dinner with chips and all.


I, Grandpa, have eaten lots of Mexican food in me time. I have eaten Mexican food at Jordan’s with Robyn and Kelly when they were very young. I have eaten at Jordan with Kelley during her lunch breaks. I have eaten Mexican food with Cassidy and McKenna at Macao’s. I have eaten Mexican food with Computer guru Ted, Chocolate loving Momma Robyn, Lydia, Kyle, Caroline, Victoria, Valerie, Timothy and Joseph in the Mexican food restaurant in Morton where the owners always gives the family free Fried ice cream.
But I must admit that none of that food tasted as good as the food we had at that picnic. What a way to celebrate our victory over 20 Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins and VOLTZAPPER.


Now you may think this is the end of the story. But it is probably just the beginning of a hunt by Melvin Zwick for more Computer Glitch Causing Gremlins.


If this story by Melvin Zwick is true the VOLTZAPPER assigned to my computer is no longer, therefore my, Grandpa’s computer should never see another glitch. RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


CHAPTERV

THE END FOR NOW