Comments from the Bowes Ranch

Joy, Sunshine and the girls

ARTICLE IN THE ZWICKLAND PAPER

Strikes outs fires Bowe’s opening

Mossyrock majors team kicked off their season with a tournament win this past Saturday and Sunday. The Mossyrock team won three games on Saturday 11-1, 2-1, 13-1. The scores which were lop sided indicates how good the Mossyrock team is this year.

MELVIN ZWICK/CHOCLATE LOVING MOMMA
Kyle Bowes, the excellent pitcher from the Bowes Ranch had a very good outing in the third game by striking out 5, with no walks and allowing one run in pitching three innings.

They won their first game on Sunday with a score of 8-2. In their second game they beat Mapavine by a score of 4-3 to win the championship.

The Mossyrock team celebrating after they won the tournment.

Reply to the Bowes Crew

To the Desk of the Bowes Airport designers , builders and protectors:
Subject: Zwickland airport
Date: 4-14-08
Dear Bowes Construction Company,
I, MELVIN ZWICK, Governor of the Grand Imperial Independent Country of Zwickland am pleased to read you responses to the project of building the Zwickland Airport.



Miss Valerie Bowes your Guard service will be well paid for in Zwickland Dollars. I am sure you and Anna, the fine dog known for herding, will be able to herd all the bad guys away from the airport leading to Zwickland.



Miss Caroline Bowes, the location of the airport unfortunately is the best spot on Zwickland. It will be published to all airlines that the runway is short and overshoots will not be allowed.
I am currently printing a bundle of 10 million Zwickland dollars the pay for you and your crew efforts.
However to gain access to the funds you and your crew will have to meet my in my home on the top of the mountain.



Mr. Kyle your input is extremely well put. You have noticed the our hotel manager is…..well a little….. ah emotional.
I will by your catcher on the Zwickland Baseball team. I, MELVIN ZWICK, The Governor of Zwickland will schedule games throughout the world. But first we have to have the airport terminal built and train a crew to fly into and out of the Zwickland Airport.



Miss Victoria you are correct Zwickland needs more tourism. I will pay you a bundle of Zwickland dollars to develop a tourism plan design to rope…I mean invite more tourist to our beautiful Zwickland.



Miss Lydia did I, MELVIN ZWICK, forget to mention that most of Zwickland mountains are active volcanoes? Just a minor oversight. The one advantage we have with our volcanoes is that they are on opposite sides of Zwickland. They alternate in sending lava into the sea. We have plenty of time to move to the opposite side of the island away from the one sending out lava.



And finally Miss Chocolate Loving Momma the center of the island is filled with chocolate producing trees. Unfortunate we will have to contend with the relatives of Mr. Fuzzy White, the Hotel manager.
Sincerely
MELVIN ZWICK

To the desk of Miss Caroline Bowes
142 Elkridge Road
Mossyrock, Wa

Subject: Zwickland Airport design

Date: April 10, 2008

Dear Miss Bowes,

I, MELVIN ZWICK, the Governor of Zwickland am in need of a new airport terminal on the country of Zwickland.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, was greatly impressed with the very well designed Airport Terminal I, MELVIN ZWICK, saw on the Bowes and Arrows blog. I understand it was built to your design by you.

It is my, MELVIN ZWICK, desire to have you, Miss Caroline Bowes, the great architect, to design and build one of your Airport Terminal designs at your convience on the Great Country of Zwickland.

With this in mind I am sending you 10,000 Zwickland Dollars as an advance towards your design and construction of The new Zwickland Airport Terminal. It is my estimate that your cost of your design and construction to the Country Zwickland will be around 8.9 million Zwickland dollars. This amount is deposited in the First National Bank Of Zwickland and is available to you as soon as you start the design.

Awaiting your confirmation,


Sincerely

MELVIN ZWICK
leessilver@cox.net

WELCOME TO ZWICKLAND

WELCOME TO ZWICKLAND
by
MELVIN ZWICK, THE GOVERNOR

This paper is written to describe the great country of ZWICKLAND in which I, MELVIN ZWICK, am the Governor.

ZWICKLAND is a rather interesting place which I, MELVIN ZWICK, designed and had built. Unfortunately not many people have been able to describe their joyous visit to ZWICKLAND as we do not have an airport.

The only way to travel to ZWICKLAND is to ride in a ZWICKMOBILE. The unfortunate thing about a ZWICKMOBILE is that it does not travel well in the ocean surrounding ZWICKLAND. I, MELVIN ZWICK, am working on the design of the ZWICKMOBILE that should have the capability of traveling safely to ZWICKLAND.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, think it might be of interest to those reading this story to illustrate how wonderful ZWICKLAND is.
The first thing one notices about ZWICKLAND is that it is mainly mountains. Mountains everywhere.

First we will show some of the fabulous buildings designed by me, MELVIN ZWICK.

This is the Governors Mansion and office building. Some of the few people who have traveled to ZWICKLAND say there is not a straight line in the building. Well what do they, people who have never designed a building, know?





The Governor’s mansion, where I, MELVIN ZWICK, live when on ZWICKLAND and not visiting Grandpa is on a mountain top.
I, MELVIN ZWICK, must admit that the road to the Governors palace is a little narrow but it does not last too long. From the ZWICKMOBILE landing the road winds for around 4.7 miles.

After several narrow passes the road eventually ends at a trail head. Well maybe the whole thing is a narrow pass. But never fear I, MELVIN ZWICK, am having the road widened. The project should be done by 2025.
It is just a short walk to the Governors home from the trail head.

The shows me, MELVIN ZWICK, walking home.

Well to be honest with you the trail might include a little climb. But never fear the trail is well marked.

As I, MELVIN ZWICK, mentioned earlier, ZICKLAND, is very mountainous.

But I digress. On with illustrating some of the more interesting sights on ZWICKLAND.

This is one of ZWICKLANDS fabulous hotels. The hotel is on a very rare flat spot. Did I, MELVIN ZWICK, mention that ZWICKLAND is very mountainous?
ZWICKLAND hotels are small because the need for large hotels is not there because there are not too many visitors to ZWICKLAND.

It should be noted that if Miss Caroline Bowes accepts the contract to build the ZWICKLAND airport the next project for her to consider would be a new ZWICKLAND hotel.
This is Fuzzy White the manager of the Hotel shown above. Fuzzy is not too delighted to have his picture taken. It seems that the few visitors to ZWICKLAND who have met him have accused him of being a gorilla and that upsets him slightly. Well maybe a little more like, upsets him very much.

The shareholders of ZWICKLAND stock (I, MELVIN ZWICK, am the only share holder although I, MELVIN ZWICK, would be delighted to sell you some stock for a bunch of US dollars) should be delighted to hear the ZWICKLAND hotel has not received any complaint claims from tourists since Fuzzy was hired.

Once a year I, MELVIN ZWICK, have a citrus fruit festival. Guests are invited to create sculptures out of citrus fruit.

It is obvious that ZWICKLAND is in dire need of more tourism. It is therefore imperative that ZWICKLAND gets an airport built as soon as possible. It is my, MELVIN ZWICK, hope that Miss Caroline and her crew will take on the job of building the ZWICKLAND airport.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, am negotiating with the very well know architect and builder, Caroline Bowes, to have her design and build ZWICKLAND’S airport.

If all goes well I, MELVIN ZWICK, will pay her a bundle of ZWICKLAND dollars to start the airport project.
This is the airport terminal that greatly impressed me, MELVIN ZWICK. It was designed and built by Miss Caroline Bowes. As you can see it is very colorful.

To prove her design she hired King the Hong to give it the stress test. The model withstood the actions of King proving that it would withstand the conditions on ZWICKLAND.

After seeing this picture of the mountain climbing ability of Miss Caroline I, MELVIN ZWICK, am convinced that Miss Caroline will have no problem gaining access to my, MELVIN ZWICK’S, home where we can negotiate the airport contract.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, had the famous graphic artist, Kelley Waugh, create a rendition of where the ZWICKLAND airport would be. Did I, MELVIN ZWICK, mention that ZWICKLAND is very mountainous? One advantage of our airstrip is if you miss the runway you will not crash into a mountain. I, MELVIN ZWICK, understand that water landings are much safer than mountain landings.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, understand that Miss Caroline Bowes has a great construction crew of workers ready to build the ZWICKLAND airport.


There is a llama in Miss Caroline’s possession that could be used to transport the necessary construction material to the building site. Here is the llama named Angle carrying the beautiful Miss Victoria another of Miss Caroline’s crew. Miss Victoria is know as the crash and bang kid who get things done.

Miss Caroline also has the beautiful Miss Lydia who has several sheep that could be used to maintain the shortness of the front lawn.

Included in Miss Caroline’s crew is Timothy the amazing tractor operator. He is known as the kid who is working on taking the title of crash and bang kid away from Miss Victoria.

The beautiful Miss Valerie with her very alert dog Anna will provide security for the construction site.

Mr. Kyle is also a member of Miss Caroline’s construction team. Along with being a great construction member he will also be instrumental in developing a ZWICKLAND baseball team.
Of coarse all great construction crews have to have a big fellow to do the grunt work. Filling this role is Big Puma Daddy Bowes.
Of coarse there has to be a very important person who provides the motivation for this crew. This very important job falls into the very capable hands of Chocolate loving Momma Bowes.

And there you have it. ZWICKLAND in all its Glory. I, MELVIN ZWICK, Governor of ZWICKLAND invite you all to visit our grand country.

THE END

Once again Melvin Zwick you have dreamed up a very outlandish story that has no truth to it other than a few things about my, Grandpa’s, family.

I, Grandpa, just realized, while reading your story, that the story was created in the brain God gave you. The brain that God gave all men and women. This God given brain gives humans the ability to do things no other God created critter can do. That God given brain has an imagination that allows you to create this story which is as phony as a 16 dollar bill.

But I, Grandpa, also realize that your story, as phony as it is, is true for just an instant. The instant some one reads it. Why is it true for an instant. Because their imagination makes it true.

What a wonderful thing our God given brain is. We can use it to create weird stories like this one or design fantastic buildings, or create airplanes that carry hundreds of people, or create medicines that eliminate diseases or create a zillion other wonderful things.

We should thank God for every morning in which we wake with the ability to use this thing called a brain. Who knows what great thing or weird stories we might create each day.

MELVIN ZWICK moving

Grandpa took this photo of me, MELVIN ZWICK, on my way to my new home.

This is my, MELVIN ZWICK'S, new home. Its a little weird. But I should feel right at home. Note how the house wears dark glasses just like my, MELVIN ZWICK'S handsome face does.

Melvin Zwick you will do anything for sympathy. You paste your photo in a car and add a weird house and claim it as your own. You are weird as usual.

MISSING MELVIN ZWICK
by
THE MISSING MELVIN ZWICK

OK, family I, MELVIN ZWICK, know you are asking about the title of this story and the by line. How could I, MELVIN ZWICK, be missing and still write this paper? Good question. But then I, MELVIN ZWICK, am a sneaky character who can do anything.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, am writing this story based on the statements Grandpa made to me after I, MELVIN ZWICK, was found.

One day last week I, MELVIN ZWICK, took a short walk. When I, MELVIN ZWICK, did not return Mr.. Pepe the great Cat detective was asked by Grandpa to investigate. Mr. Pepe is noted for his wild character but he will do what Grandpa asks as Grandpa is his big buddy. Grandpa asked Mr.. Pepe to check out the where abouts of me, MELVIN ZWICK, because he knows all the local critters who might have seen me, MELVIN ZWICK.

But first Mr. Pepe must eat his breakfast in order to gain the strength he will need to do his search.

After eating Mr. Pepe sat down with Grandpa and listened to the description of me, MEVIN ZWICK. Grandpa told Mr. Pepe that Melvin Zwick was like no other human an was a handsome looking fellow that usually wore a purple baseball cap with large dark glasses.

Grandpa showed Mr. Pepe this photo of Melvin Zwick. The two beautiful young ladies are grandpa’s granddaughters McKenna and Cassidy.
So off went Mr. Pepe, early in the morning, to look for Melvin Zwick.

Mr. Pepe entered the home of Charlie Tuxedo Gilcrest and found him asleep in bed in his house in the back yard of the Gilcrest’s. Charlie Tuxedo was rather shocked to awake and see Mr.. Pepe staring down at him. Mr. Pepe and Charlie are not good friends. It seems that it was a macho cat thing.
Charlie told Mr. Pepe that he did not see Melvin Zwick the morning before. Charlie said that that was a good thing as most individuals are better off if they do not see the sneaky Melvin Zwick.

Mr. Pepe next ran into Debra Gorgeous the fashion expert on the property. She immediately yelled at Mr. Pepe, for waking her so early in the morning.
Apparently Miss gorgeous had been out all night celebrating her life as a fashion model. She finally calmed down and told Mr. Pepe that when she returned last morning after her night out she saw Melvin Zwick walking West on Pershing street.

Mr. Pepe talked next to Sam The Big Fellow. Mr. Pepe asked Sam if he had seen Melvin Zwick. Sam said, “Are you accusing me of cooking Melvin Zwick and eating him for dinner. Are you asking me that? Are YOU ASKING ME THAT? YOU COULD NOT BE ASKING ME THAT. WHAT EVER DID GIVE YOU THE IDEA THAT I MIGHT HAVE COOKED AND EATEN MELVIN ZWICK? ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT I AM A LITTLE BIT ON THE HEAVY SIDE?
Sam finial denied he cooked Melvin Zwick or ate him.

The next lady Mr. Pepe ran into was Crocked Neck Sally. She got the crocked neck from many years of looking at the world through the cracks in the slats of the fence around the back yard where she lived.
She said it would be difficult to see Melvin Zwick through the gaps in the fence but she did remember seeing a shadow pass by last morning. It could have been Melvin Zwick.

As Mr. Pepe turned the corner he ran into Clyde Little One. Clyde let out a screech when he heard Melvin Zwick was loose again. He said he thought Grandpa had Melvin Zwick under control. He said he would be on the look out for Melvin Zwick as no one could tell what might happen with Melvin Zwick on the loose. Melvin Zwick is one sneaky fellow.

Hawk Eyed Jones was the next neighbor Mr. Pepe ran into. He said, “What’s that you ask Mr. Pepe. You ask if I, Hawk Eye Jones saw Melvin Zwick yesterday morning? Mr. Pepe you know that I, Hawk Eye Jones am know as being very observant never missing anything that goes on around the neighborhood. I, Hawk Eye Jones, the most observant cat in the neighborhood never misses a thing.
What’s that you say. You say I have a mouse on my head. Is that what you are trying to tell me. How could a mouse be on the head of me, Hawk Eye Jones, the most observant cat in the world. I would surely have seen a mouse get on my head. Are you sure there is a mouse on my head? That’s impossible.”
As for Melvin Zwick. I never saw him.

Mr. Pepe was heard to murmur as he walked away, “That Hawk Eye Jones. I don’t think he would notice if Melvin Zwick sat down in front of him.”

When interviewed by Mr. Pepe, Big Ears Kowalski said, “Whazz that yous say? Melvin Zwick done came up missing. I thinks that is reallllllllllly funny. In fact I thunk izz hilariyous. If wes done be lucky Melvin Zwick done stay missing. I aint seed Melvin Zwick sinze he wazz a frog that done been kizzed by Victoria? I hered that storry.”



Mr. Pepe knew that several days ago Victoria kissed Melvin Zwick the frog with the desire to turn him into a real person. She succeed in kissing the frog and Melvin Zwick appeared and played catch with Kyle until dinner time.

Mr. Pepe found Penny the Henny early in the morning keeping her chick warm. Penny said cluck that she cluck cluck had not cluck seen cluck cluck Melvin Zwick cluck. She said if she had seen Melvin Zwick she would have picked up her chicks and moved to them to Tucson.

The last critter Mr. Pepe spoke to was Stretch Blue collar. He said, “You say Melvin Zwick is missing? Well I just don’t care. I have been chasing rabbits all morning and am totally exhausted. Those rabbits sure can run. If Melvin Zwick showed up I would chase him also.”

Grandpa said that Mr. Pepe was totally exhausted after his investigation of where Melvin Zwick was. He told Grandpa that he had no clue where Melvin Zwick was. After telling his story to Grandpa Mr. Pepe retired to a cool spot.

Grandpa found Mr. Pepe where this photo shows.

I. MELVIN ZWICK, must admit that my disappearing trick was just an April Fools day trick. Ha Ha I, MELVIN ZWICK, fooled them all. I, MELVIN ZWICK, was hiding in Grandpa’s room. It is easy to hide in Grandpa’s room because it is filled with so much stuff.

THE END

ZWICK, Grandpa and Phoeey Ralph

Hi Family,
Just look at the photo I, MELVIN ZWICK, just found of me, Grandpa and Phooey Ralph when we were kids. Boy, I, MELVIN ZWICK, am sure a good looking kid!!!!!!!!!!