ZWICK PLANTS A FLOWER
BY
WHO ELSE BUT THE GREAT MELVIN ZWICK
WITH A FEW COMMENTS FROM GRANDPA

It was a pleasant day on May 2, 2009 when I, MELVIN ZWICK the great horticulturist, decided to plant a flower in Grandpa’s front yard. Actually the flower was to be planted in the gravel portion of Grandpa’s front yard. Grandma and Grandpa were at that marvelous store Costco where you go with a list of five items and come home with twenty five items. Grandma likes to go as soon as the story opens to get away from the crowd. Grandpa likes to go later so that all the free food dispensers are supplying food. A person can get enough free food to make a full lunch. I, MELVIN ZWICK, thought I would plant a new plant in their garden to surprise them when they got back. Digging in the soil is very difficult as there are many rocks in the way. I, MELVIN ZWICK, like to work as easily as possible so I wheel out my garden cart so that I have something to sit on while I did the hole.


When I, MELVIN ZWICK the great digger, had been digging for a while the Underground Human Grabber grabbed my hand and started to pull me into the hole. The grabber was very strong.


It was a real tug of war as the Grabber pulling me down and I pulled back up.


The mean nasty Underground Human Grabber was getting the best of me, MELVIN ZWICK, even though I am the strongest man in the world.


The Underground Human Grabber won the tug of war. I, MELVIN ZWICK, was headed into the home of the Underground Human Grabber.


Grandpa who had just returned from Costco heard me hollering and tried to pull me, MELVIN ZWICK, out but he had no success. I, MELVIN ZWICK, was on my way to the home of the Underground Human Grabber.


Grandpa looked into the hole but could not see me. He did hear a tremendous fight going on. Once I, MELVIN ZWICK, entered the home of the Underground Human Grabber I told it (note I, MELVIN ZWICK, called it it as it was not human) I was going to go back up stairs. It said no way. You are my guest and must stay here. I, MELVIN ZWICK the master of Karate, gave that Underground Human Grabber a good working over. It decided if it wanted to live a longer life it better
let me go.


Grandpa was amazed to see me, MELVIN ZWICK, reaching out of the hole. As you can see I, MELVIN ZWICK, looks a little dirty.


Grandpa thinks it is a little funny to see me, MELVIN ZWICK the great adventurer, in the hole.



I, MELVIN ZWICK the great photographer, took this photo of the Underground Human Grabber just before we got into a fight. It was one seven foot mean looking dude. After the great adventure I, MELVIN ZWICK, decided I no longer wanted to plant the flower. Grandpa took over. I, MELVIN ZWICK the clean person, did not want to have anything more to do with the Underground Human Grabber. Not only was the adventure with the Underground Human Grabber enough to keep me away from the planting I, MELVIN ZWICK, knew the next step in planting the flower was to put some smell stuff in the hole to mix with the dirt. So it was Grandpa “Do your stuff.”

I, MELVIN ZWICK, am going tell you a Grandpa Planting Secret. After Grandpa puts in the smelly stuff into the hole he mixes it with some dirt in the hole.


Then he pours some water mixed with some vitamin B1. The mixture encourages plant roots to grow. He then mixed the water, dirt and smelly stuff until it turns into mud.


Once the stuff is mixed well Grandpa puts the plant on the mud in the hole.


Then its more smelly stuff. Grandpa mixed the smelly stuff in with some dirt.


Grandpa then puts the mixture into the hole around the plant.


Grandpa packs the mixture to remove all air pockets. Roots do not like air.


Then it more water and B1.


There it is. A small bougainvillea about to jump into your face.


I, MELVIN ZWICK, said a few magic words and poof look what happened to the plant.

Melvin Zwick, you have proven again that your imagination is almost a big as your ego. I, GRANDPA, am amazed how you took the photographs. All our family knows that only you or grandpa can exist at one time. For you to be in the picture you had to set the camera on a tripod, set the timer for 10 seconds, press the shutter release button then run to the scene and pose all within the 10 seconds before the shutter trips. For me, Grandpa, to be in the picture I had to do the same thing.

Oh by the way I, GRANDPA, dug the hole.

Now a challenge to Grandpas detectives. Keep in mind that Melvin Zwick only had 10 seconds to set up the photograph. I doubt there was enough time to run back to the scene, take off the shoes and place them in the hole before the shutter clicked. Did Melvin Zwick place the shoes in the hole walk back to the camera in bare feet on the gravel then run back to the scene in bear feet?

Grandpa I, MELVIN ZWICK, have soles on my feet that are as tough as leather. Walking on gravel is not problem for me, MELVIN ZWICK.

I don’t think so. You could not walk on grave in you bare feet. You had another trick. OK detectives how did Melvin Zwick do it. Get from the camera to the scene.

THE END