MISSING MELVIN ZWICK
by
THE MISSING MELVIN ZWICK

OK, family I, MELVIN ZWICK, know you are asking about the title of this story and the by line. How could I, MELVIN ZWICK, be missing and still write this paper? Good question. But then I, MELVIN ZWICK, am a sneaky character who can do anything.

I, MELVIN ZWICK, am writing this story based on the statements Grandpa made to me after I, MELVIN ZWICK, was found.

One day last week I, MELVIN ZWICK, took a short walk. When I, MELVIN ZWICK, did not return Mr.. Pepe the great Cat detective was asked by Grandpa to investigate. Mr. Pepe is noted for his wild character but he will do what Grandpa asks as Grandpa is his big buddy. Grandpa asked Mr.. Pepe to check out the where abouts of me, MELVIN ZWICK, because he knows all the local critters who might have seen me, MELVIN ZWICK.

But first Mr. Pepe must eat his breakfast in order to gain the strength he will need to do his search.

After eating Mr. Pepe sat down with Grandpa and listened to the description of me, MEVIN ZWICK. Grandpa told Mr. Pepe that Melvin Zwick was like no other human an was a handsome looking fellow that usually wore a purple baseball cap with large dark glasses.

Grandpa showed Mr. Pepe this photo of Melvin Zwick. The two beautiful young ladies are grandpa’s granddaughters McKenna and Cassidy.
So off went Mr. Pepe, early in the morning, to look for Melvin Zwick.

Mr. Pepe entered the home of Charlie Tuxedo Gilcrest and found him asleep in bed in his house in the back yard of the Gilcrest’s. Charlie Tuxedo was rather shocked to awake and see Mr.. Pepe staring down at him. Mr. Pepe and Charlie are not good friends. It seems that it was a macho cat thing.
Charlie told Mr. Pepe that he did not see Melvin Zwick the morning before. Charlie said that that was a good thing as most individuals are better off if they do not see the sneaky Melvin Zwick.

Mr. Pepe next ran into Debra Gorgeous the fashion expert on the property. She immediately yelled at Mr. Pepe, for waking her so early in the morning.
Apparently Miss gorgeous had been out all night celebrating her life as a fashion model. She finally calmed down and told Mr. Pepe that when she returned last morning after her night out she saw Melvin Zwick walking West on Pershing street.

Mr. Pepe talked next to Sam The Big Fellow. Mr. Pepe asked Sam if he had seen Melvin Zwick. Sam said, “Are you accusing me of cooking Melvin Zwick and eating him for dinner. Are you asking me that? Are YOU ASKING ME THAT? YOU COULD NOT BE ASKING ME THAT. WHAT EVER DID GIVE YOU THE IDEA THAT I MIGHT HAVE COOKED AND EATEN MELVIN ZWICK? ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT I AM A LITTLE BIT ON THE HEAVY SIDE?
Sam finial denied he cooked Melvin Zwick or ate him.

The next lady Mr. Pepe ran into was Crocked Neck Sally. She got the crocked neck from many years of looking at the world through the cracks in the slats of the fence around the back yard where she lived.
She said it would be difficult to see Melvin Zwick through the gaps in the fence but she did remember seeing a shadow pass by last morning. It could have been Melvin Zwick.

As Mr. Pepe turned the corner he ran into Clyde Little One. Clyde let out a screech when he heard Melvin Zwick was loose again. He said he thought Grandpa had Melvin Zwick under control. He said he would be on the look out for Melvin Zwick as no one could tell what might happen with Melvin Zwick on the loose. Melvin Zwick is one sneaky fellow.

Hawk Eyed Jones was the next neighbor Mr. Pepe ran into. He said, “What’s that you ask Mr. Pepe. You ask if I, Hawk Eye Jones saw Melvin Zwick yesterday morning? Mr. Pepe you know that I, Hawk Eye Jones am know as being very observant never missing anything that goes on around the neighborhood. I, Hawk Eye Jones, the most observant cat in the neighborhood never misses a thing.
What’s that you say. You say I have a mouse on my head. Is that what you are trying to tell me. How could a mouse be on the head of me, Hawk Eye Jones, the most observant cat in the world. I would surely have seen a mouse get on my head. Are you sure there is a mouse on my head? That’s impossible.”
As for Melvin Zwick. I never saw him.

Mr. Pepe was heard to murmur as he walked away, “That Hawk Eye Jones. I don’t think he would notice if Melvin Zwick sat down in front of him.”

When interviewed by Mr. Pepe, Big Ears Kowalski said, “Whazz that yous say? Melvin Zwick done came up missing. I thinks that is reallllllllllly funny. In fact I thunk izz hilariyous. If wes done be lucky Melvin Zwick done stay missing. I aint seed Melvin Zwick sinze he wazz a frog that done been kizzed by Victoria? I hered that storry.”



Mr. Pepe knew that several days ago Victoria kissed Melvin Zwick the frog with the desire to turn him into a real person. She succeed in kissing the frog and Melvin Zwick appeared and played catch with Kyle until dinner time.

Mr. Pepe found Penny the Henny early in the morning keeping her chick warm. Penny said cluck that she cluck cluck had not cluck seen cluck cluck Melvin Zwick cluck. She said if she had seen Melvin Zwick she would have picked up her chicks and moved to them to Tucson.

The last critter Mr. Pepe spoke to was Stretch Blue collar. He said, “You say Melvin Zwick is missing? Well I just don’t care. I have been chasing rabbits all morning and am totally exhausted. Those rabbits sure can run. If Melvin Zwick showed up I would chase him also.”

Grandpa said that Mr. Pepe was totally exhausted after his investigation of where Melvin Zwick was. He told Grandpa that he had no clue where Melvin Zwick was. After telling his story to Grandpa Mr. Pepe retired to a cool spot.

Grandpa found Mr. Pepe where this photo shows.

I. MELVIN ZWICK, must admit that my disappearing trick was just an April Fools day trick. Ha Ha I, MELVIN ZWICK, fooled them all. I, MELVIN ZWICK, was hiding in Grandpa’s room. It is easy to hide in Grandpa’s room because it is filled with so much stuff.

THE END